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Writer's pictureShanan Liu

When a butterfly flies into a cocoon


My turn being the Poet-in-a-Box at the Tenderloin Sunday Streets

What happens when a butterfly flies into a cocoon? 


A caterpillar crawls out, rediscovers the world.


During my first week in San Francisco while scrambling to put life together, I passed by a purple building named “Faithful Fools”. I went from volunteering once a week, to living there full time in the summer. I flew across the continent, straight into the Fool’s court.


Inside the home of the Faithful Fools is a dazzling world full of (literally) colorful toys and magical creatures. External orders do not apply. Plans are set to be disrupted. No one day is the same. The door welcomes everyone. To enter, just leave titles and labels behind. We face each other human to human.


Eat this, not me! (Making friends with magical creatures)

My metamorphosis started when activities ceased. I came to San Francisco for school, and during the semester I was always busy. At the Fools, I have no formal responsibility. “So what do you do here?” “I don’t know. Just being here.” In this being- sitting at the foyer in the morning, talking to whoever comes in, sometimes playing music - thoughts, questions, reflections ebb and flow. I began to see how people and places from the past bestowed me with legacies I now call “mine.” Some of which - a constant sense of competition, an anxiety of becoming - I wish to shed away.


What would take their place? Presence, compassion and an open heart. This Fool’s cocoon that has offered me a place of repose does the same for others. People come in to be with their full character, or eccentricity. Each individual is a unique gift. By simply seeing the same faces over and over, relationships emerge, and care blossoms. The joy grows in intensity everyday as I walk down the street, meeting kind eyes, having the same exchange of “Have a good day!” “You too!”. Then comes the magical moment of “ Hey! What’s your name?” which turns into chats, hugs, breakfast and much more…All of these started with a simple nod and smile, saying “I see you.” Living with the Fools in the Tenderloin shows me the beauty of people and of relationships. The recognition of this beauty became my foundation for compassion.


Cheers! (Shanan with Fools Carmen, Linda, Sam, Silena, Mikayla and students from St.Ignatius high school)

The time of eclosion has come, and out crawls a small caterpillar. On the last day of my residency, Silena gifted me a $2 dollar bill. The bill that, when students come to participate in the “TL treasure hunt”, the Fools asked them to give to someone doing good in the community. Surprised, “I don’t think I really did much.” Silena looked at me, “ ‘We are called to a life of presence that acknowledges each human’s incredible worth.’ Have you been doing that?” 


I couldn’t be sure.


But I know what to crawl with now, out into the world.

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